Dear younger me, you were never meant to fit into someone else's mold...

Dear younger me,

I know you worry that not everyone will like or appreciate you. I see you trying to be the “perfect” version of yourself that pleases others—softening your edges, shrinking yourself, saying yes when your heart is screaming no. I see you looking for validation in the eyes of those who barely see you. But one day, you’ll realize… you were never meant to fit into someone else’s mold.

It’s exhausting, isn’t it? Because every conversation, every interaction, you’re trying so hard to please others because you want them to think you’re enough. You think you need to be the perfect daughter, friend, girlfriend, wife, but you’ll soon discover that no matter how hard you try, you cannot, and will never be perfect. You’ll spend years twisting yourself, trying to fit in, worrying about whether you’re saying or doing the rights things, measuring your worth according to someone else’s expectations. You replay conversations in your head, wondering if you should have been quieter, louder, more agreeable, or more opinionated. You tried so hard to be someone you’re not.

You want others to think you’re perfect. You will succumb to the belief that your worth is determined by others, but you’ll soon understand that it is only determined by you. The way you carry yourself, the kindness you show, the love you give—that is what makes you amazing. Everyday, you will learn, grow, and eventually figure out who you are. Other people’s judgements will lose weight when you start carrying yourself with more confidence, knowing that you are enough exactly as you are. Don’t worry, you won’t really discover your true self, and be absolutely comfortable in your own skin, until you’re past forty. Self acceptance and self confidence takes time.  

So one day in the near future, you’ll stop chasing perfection, and start embracing your flaws. Because the truth is, not everyone will appreciate your craziness, your lame jokes, your controversial opinions, or even your kindness. They will judge you, sometimes unfairly and unreasonably. Some will misunderstand your good intentions, and others will not appreciate your uniqueness. You realise that your true value lies in being the imperfectly perfect you. There is no magic formula that will make everyone like you, so let me tell you now – not everyone has to like you, and not everyone will appreciate you. And that is perfectly okay.

You’ll start choosing yourself, not in a selfish way, but in a way that says, I am worthy as I am. You’ll stop chasing approval and start following your own voice. You’ll learn that your value isn’t in being liked—it’s in being just you. And the people who truly matter? They won’t need you to be anything other than yourself. You’ll look back at the girl who thought she had to earn love, acceptance, and belonging—and you’ll want to hold her hand and whisper:

“If you could see yourself now, you’d finally understand… you were always enough."

So, dear younger me, let go of the weight of wanting to be perfect in the eyes of others. Stop trying to fit yourself into other people's mold. And when you finally see yourself clearly and confidently, you’ll wonder why you ever tried to be anything but you.

With love,

Your older, wiser self 💛